The Seat of It All
You are at the end of a long commute home. You drank too much water during the drive and something you ate at lunch is causing your gut to grumble - the borborigmus threatens to drown out the sound of the engine. As you drive the last block before pulling into your driveway, the pressure in your bladder makes you very aware that you have little time to spare. Worse, you have the uncomfortable sense that your bowels are rebelling and may decide to move themselves – unbidden. Your body kicks into the two-minute defense - although this is not a life-threatening situation, it is dignity-threatening.
Most people beyond the age of two or three have pretty good control of their urethral sphincter which controls the release of urine from the bladder and the anal sphincter which controls release of feces from the lower intestines. And, although there are occasional mishaps during the years between toddler and old age, most of us are usually good to go (or not go, depending on the situation.)
But there are circumstances like the one described in the opening paragraph, where our attention becomes very focused and we need to be very conscious of those ring muscles that mostly operate without us giving them much thought. And we must attend not just to one sphincter but to two over which we have conscious control.
Here’s an exercise for the reader. Put yourself in the situation from the opening paragraph – everything is about to hit the fan – or at least your pants. Focus on the muscles that you need to put to work. First, clench that muscle (the urethral sphincter) that will prevent you from wetting your pants – you know the one, most of us got pretty familiar with it when we were in grade school. OK, have you tightened that one?
Next, deal with number two – the anal sphincter. The one that got us out of diapers for good (or at least for 70 years or so.) Tighten that muscle. Got it? Great! No shit.
Did I mention that I wanted you to do this exercise when you weren’t under any sort of sphinctral (just made that up) distress? I just wanted you to be able to identify the relevant sphincters and control both of them simultaneously. Still there? Everything clenched? But relax, breath. I don’t want you to get your knickers in a twist.
Good. Hallelujah! Or, more appropriately, Aum. Because what you have just done is to become aware of and activate the mula bandha. According to yoga teachings this is the sacred floor both spiritually and physically of your body and, indeed, of your very essence. The Sanskrit word bandha is usually translated as "lock," though, like most Sanskrit words, it has many nuanced meanings. It comes from the root bandh, which means to bind, to fix, or to stop. The bandhas are specific positions of the body and manipulations of the organs designed to prevent the flow of energy from escaping the body.
(Not to be too prosaic, but a simplistic view is that one could consider urine and feces as forms of 'energy'. Yes? And that the two sphincters involved therefore prevent the escape of these energies from the body just as the yogi said. Of course, these particular energies must escape at some point or you've got big problems.)
But I've really dumbed down - nay, insulted - the yoga teachings where the bandhas are mechanisms an accomplished yogi can use to direct the flow of the universal life-force energy. The mula bandha can take years of practice to cultivate and is thought to be essential for good concentration and more advanced yoga postures. And you thought I was just teaching a way to avoid soiling yourself. We'll come back to this.
But first, there’s more.
As often happens, modern science often discovers information that has been known for thousands of years by ancient schools of knowledge. Mula bandha? Sounds an awful lot like the Kegel exercises introduced by Arnold H. Kegel (1894–1981) a gynecologist who invented the eponymously named Kegel exercises. (He also invented the Kegel Perineometer used for measuring vaginal air pressure – this is not relevant to our current topic but illustrates the admirable focus that Dr Kegel had on this part of the anatomy.)
The Kegel exercises consist of squeezing the muscles of the pelvic floor and are described by no less an authority than the Mayo Clinic thusly:
You lift weights to tone your arms and do crunches to flatten your stomach. That's great, but don't forget your Kegel exercises, too. Kegel exercises strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which support your uterus, bladder and bowel. If you do Kegel exercises regularly and keep your pelvic floor muscles toned, you may reduce your risk of incontinence and similar problems as you get older. Kegel exercises can also help you control urinary incontinence.
Here are some instructions for the Kegel exercises. First, identify the muscles used to stop the flow of urine midstream. Then engage the muscles your would use to prevent passing gas. Sound familiar? Yep, these are the same ones that mula banda focused on. Having identified these muscles (the sphincters), the description of Kegel exercises - or kegels as they called in the vernacular - quickly turn into a routine that sounds like what you might be told to do by your trainer at 24 hour fitness:
Quick pumps - do 15 reps of quick pumps, pause for 30 seconds and repeat. Start at 15 and work your way up to 100 reps two times a day.
Hold and release - contract the muscle slowly and hold or 5 seconds, release slowly. Work your way to at least 25 reps two times a day.
Elevator - slowly contract 1/3 of the way, pause, then 2/3 of the way, pause, then all the way. Do 10 reps two times a day.
Boy, is that inspiring! Just what I need - a sphincter coach.
I suspect this information is encouraging if you’re having troubles controlling your several relevant sphincters, but not exactly the road to nirvana. That is, unless you are in mind of the old Scottish tune – You take the high road and I’ll take the low road and I’ll be in Scotland (or heaven or … ) before you. So perhaps the low road really is the special, overlooked path. And these mundane, unnoticed muscles are more important than we moderns have suspected. Maybe the muscles Dr Kegel points at (not actually with his finger – although given his interest in vaginal air pressure – who knows) really are important to, at least, general and sexual health.
Sexual? That’s right. In addition to promoting the muscle tone essential to having good control over the elimination functions of urination and defecation, in women these exercises also tone the vaginal muscles, often producing a happy result for women and their male sex partners. A well-toned vagina is better at becoming engorged during stimulation. More engorgement leads to greater sensation and, usually, more pleasure. While there are myriad factors affecting pleasure and orgasm, starting with well toned muscles is a good place to begin.
But, let's return to mula bandha - where this technique was first developed long before Dr Kegel started wondering about vaginal air pressure. Sure, controlling the flow of essential universal energies sounds like a good thing to strive for but how do you measure your progress? And, if I don't buy into the all of the yogic concepts what's in it for me?
Well, how about this: exercising the muscles that operate around these base sphincters to develop good muscle tone will prolong the duration of lovemaking and make your climax much more intense! Some claim that men with healthy pelvic floor muscles can actually hang a towel over their erections and raise and lower their penises at will. (Some might want to test this using a hand cloth or handkerchief instead of a towel.)
OK. Maybe I've got the attention of some more readers. It should not be too surprising that learning how to do mula bandha has led us down the slippery slope to sexual satisfaction. After all, both yoga and the kama sutra arose from India – a culture that has long understood and appreciated the connections between the physical, spiritual and erotic worlds. Ecstasy leading towards enlightenment and all that. But I've also gotten in way over my head. We're now heading in the direction of the kama sutra, kundalini, ben waa balls, and so on. These topics are left as an exercise for the reader. Enjoy.
OK, wait. Just to save you a bit of time on Google - ben wa balls, also known as Burmese bells or gei sha balls are small, marble-sized metal balls, usually hollow and containing a small weight that rolls around—used for sexual stimulation (by insertion into the vagina or anus). They are used by inserting them into the vagina or anus and using muscles (yep, the same muscles we've been talking about) to hold them in, and movement to stimulate and vibrate. Once again, enjoy.
Oh dear – what a long way we’ve come from our late-day commute with a full bladder and rumbling bowels. And from spiritual yogic practices to Ben Wa balls. Or maybe not so far. After all, being completely in touch with all parts of your body – even those that we usually think of as operating below the level of our conscious attention – is surely part of totally being in “present moment, precious moment” a phrase and concept that the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh emphasizes in his teachings. And a side note: at the one talk by Thich Nhat Hanh that I attended about 10 years ago he spent quite some time talking about considering the huge mountain of fecal matter - ok, let's just call it shit, he did - that each of us excrete during our lifetime. His point? Be aware of our own bodily functions and the oneness of it all.
Attend to your sphincters! Attune to the universe.
