Social Constraints

It began deep in my thorax and then surged up and out in a fast-moving wave. In the ocean, a wave is the result of the wind driving water across an open area. But this sonic wave, almost a sonic boom, originated in the closed spaces of my own body.

The belch surprised me as much as it did those around me – likely more. Because I had never belched or even burped before. Oh, perhaps I had burped as an infant; babies tend to take in a lot of air as they suckle to get the milk the need to survive and burping is the most immediate way to relieve that pressure. But Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Where did that noise come from within me?

I had always been belch-challenged. When my 12 year old peers in sixth grade were joyfully disgusting their female classmates, most adults and, they hoped, their parents, I was silent. I would not, actually, could not, burp – let alone belch. While my friend Pico Savala could emit a clamoring belch that would frighten the playground pigeons into manic flight, I could not create even an infantile burp that might warrant a raised eyebrow from Sister Mary Edwards in the classroom.

So I went the opposite direction: I decided that eructation - the release of gas from the digestive tract through the mouth - was gross and disgusting. Nevermind that I couldn’t – those that could, and did, belch were lesser beings. Also nevermind that belching has always been part of human social behavior –acceptable in most societies. Especially given the alternatives.

Here’s the dilemma. If you have excess pressure in the abdomen – that is, within the stomach and intestinal system – the body needs a path to relieve that pressure. The quickest path is from the stomach up through the cardia – the junction orifice of the stomach and the esophagus. (The sound of burping is caused by the vibration of the cardia as the gas passes through it.) The cardia is also called the cardiac sphincter - it’s the gateway for gas headed north. The slower, southbound outlet for pressure is just as common but often less socially condoned – flatulence, the release of gas via the that southernmost sphincter.

So, choose your weapon, that is, your sphincter: cardial or anal.

Me? I’m practicing belching, but meanwhile, keep your distance.